I just threw up on my dentist
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
