OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
