Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
