My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he fucked my hip out of place.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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