honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
