so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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