sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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