my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?