yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
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His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
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He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.