So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me