Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
No subtext here. People are naked.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
