so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
