He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
