Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
