yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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