I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
25 Hilarious ‘Sex Clubs’ You Should Try To Join
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
is that a dick in a sweater?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society