Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.