yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
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so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
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I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm determined to sit on that face.