Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
