That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
