She said her name was "party"
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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