What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
