im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize