Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
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Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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