Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you cant smoke seaweed
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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