when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
