I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Randomize
