She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
