she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
