you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
