Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
My vagina just clenched in fear
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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