We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm at about main and main street
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
