Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize