normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
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He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
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On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I wear drunk well.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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