you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
