We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
