What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Do you still have your period?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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