Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
