I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
