i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
