I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
