woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
