Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize