She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
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