I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
