I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
