i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
