If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
