I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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