The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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