I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Randomize
