Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Randomize
