How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
