I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize