stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
