How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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