escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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