Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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