He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
