Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
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