I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
