the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
