people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
