I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
