the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Randomize
