my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
