this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
